La compasión de la muerte



La he escuchado. Tu llamada. Un grito irrefrenable, ansioso y desesperado me ha mostrado la naturaleza de tu verdadero dolor y así, tal cual es mi deber reconocido y aceptado, he acudido a ti dispuesta a escuchar tu súplica.
Y al llegar hasta a ti, lo único que encuentro es un niño asustado, aterrado y desorientado. Sólo quiero saber una cosa, ¿qué es lo que crees que obtendrás con todo esto?

Abandona ahora mismo esa actitud arrogante frente a mí. Es absolutamente innecesario, pues mi vista va mucho más allá de tus rasgos, llegando incluso a ahondar en la auténtica profundidad de tu alma. Y aún así, mientras intento en vano comprenderte, sigues aullándome y clamándome en el desgarrador silencio de la situación.

¿Realmente es esto lo que quieres?
Me resisto a creerlo.

Quizás pienses que no necesitas de toda esta charla, que lo único que hago hablándote así es prolongar aún más tu agonía. No es así, y aunque ni siquiera pretendo que aprecies una ínfima parte de la misericordia que te estoy regalando, necesito comentártelo. Jamás he concedido tal oportunidad a ningún otro, deja que al menos que me desahogue antes de que todo esto acabe. Humano o no, la verdadera realidad de la existencia escapa precipitadamente de tu humilde comprensión. Pero aún así, créeme cuando te digo que necesito que me expliques toda esta situación, que me des un solo motivo para que no parta en este preciso instante dejándote aquí, sumido en el olvido y desterrado de mis planes, durante bastante tiempo.

“No puedes negarte a concedérmelo” esos son tus pensamientos, ¿de verdad crees eso? La ingenuidad es una de las cualidades que más me fascinan.

La perspectiva que se presenta ante ti brilla, clamando por una experiencia no vivida mientras tu negatividad te consume hasta límites que la desesperación apenas reconoce. Motivos egoístas o plenamente justificados, no soy precisamente yo a quien deberías rendirle cuentas sobre eso. Piénsalo por favor, pues mi poder no va más allá del simple viaje.

En mi búsqueda altruista y contradictoria de conseguir hacerte recapacitar, me doy cuenta que ya es demasiado tarde. Has tomado tu decisión… Solo te pido un último deseo, pues al menos eso me debes: dime, grítame, tan alto y tan claro que sea capaz de entenderlo de una maldita vez, ¿qué es lo que puedes querer de mí?

Sé que piensas que yo puedo ofrecerte algo mejor, que el compartir mi oscura existencia, te permitirá librarte de todo cuanto te causa dolor, todo lo que te hace apreciar tu momento y lugar en este mísero mundo. ¿Quieres que te sea sincera? No sé qué es lo que te espera después, pues en cuanto camines conmigo, estaremos condenados a guiarnos por caminos distintos. Tu marcha será irrevocable, te irás, descansarás, y yo permaneceré aquí, envidiándote, mientras sigo sucumbiendo a los designios de los demás.

¿Aún así sigues queriendo acompañarme?  
Quizás te hayan mostrado que soy la eterna e inevitable salvación, redención o maldición. A mi eso me da igual, pues desde que existo he sido nombrada con tantos nombres que ni siquiera un milenio alcanzaría a bastar para enumerártelos. Soy quién soy, quién tú quieres que te agarre y te “salve”.
Siempre he odiado esto.
Vuelvo a mirarte, ¿y qué es lo que encuentro? 
¿Dudas?
Demasiado tarde para ello.  
¿Miedo?
Ya ni siquiera debes tenerlo.  
¿Impaciencia?

Por favor, para de pensar eso, deja de crearme desconcierto.
Ya todo está dicho, y si eso es lo que realmente deseas no seré yo la que te haga esperar. Ya solo me queda una cosa por decirte: valor, mirada al frente y barbilla alzada. A partir de aquí ya no habrá vuelta atrás, y aunque tu acto puede considerarse de cualquier manera menos noble, ya nadie tendrá la oportunidad de juzgarte. Vuelve a comenzar, por ti, por mí… Esto no es más que el comienzo del final.
¿Lo comprendes todo? Bien… luego no digas que no te lo advertí.
-Cierra los ojos y ven junto a mí.   

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